What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why am I peeing so much without drinking a lot of water? I checked my blood sugar and it is normal. Could it be something else?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What is your opinion? I am 150-152 and I feel short. I’m 15 years old. I feel like this makes me look like a baby and ugly on most clothes.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are 10 interesting facts about you?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Have you ever met someone and something seemed so unusual about them but you couldn't put your finger on what it was?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …